Why Men Don’t Write Advice Columns…
October 31, 2007 (3 Responses)
EVER WONDER what sort of advice columnists we men would make?
Dear Walter,
I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn’t gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband’s help. When I got home I couldn’t believe my eyes. He was in the bedroom with a neighbour lady making mad passionate love to her. I am 32, my husband is 34 and we have been married for twelve years.
When I confronted him, he tried to make out that he went into the back yard and heard a lady scream, had come to her rescue but found her unconscious. He’d carried the woman back to our house, laid her in bed, and began CPR. When she awoke she immediately began thanking him and kissing him and he was attempting to break free when I came back. But when I asked him why neither of them had any clothes on, he broke down and admitted that he’d been having an affair for the past six months. I told him to stop or I would leave him.
He was let go from his job six months ago and he says he has been feeling increasingly depressed and worthless. I love him very much, but ever since I gave him the
ultimatum he has become increasingly distant. I don’t feel I can get through to him anymore. Can you please help?
Sincerely,
Sheila
Dear Sheila
A car stalling after being driven a short distance can be caused by a variety of faults with the engine. Start by checking that there is no debris in the fuel line. If it is clear, check the vacuum pipes and hoses on the intake manifold and also check all grounding wires. If none of these approaches solves the problem, it could be that the fuel pump itself is faulty, causing low delivery pressure to the carburator float chamber.
I hope this helps.
Walter.
World Wide Weirdness Cyclone On The Move This Weekend
October 27, 2007 (No Responses)
SOMETIMES THE SHEER volume of weirdness on our spinning rock is just so loud that it cannot be ignored. While reading my usual news sources today a bunch of crazy ass stories stood out and screamed “WEIRD” at me. It never ceases to amaze me how profoundly whacky this planet of ours is, due entirely to the homo-sapiens squatting on it. I like to think of it as a moving cyclone of weirdness that just roams the planet, infecting otherwise normal people with the most ridiculous side-effects.
For example, we all know that almost anything is available for a price, given the right circumstances. How do you fancy the idea of owning Pol Pot’s Merc, because you can for a mere £35K? The former Khmer Rouge leader’s 1973 stretch Merc has gone on sale on the web and can be yours for a song. What exactly do you say to you neighbours when they ask about your new ‘classic’ car?
Not content with owning a former dictators transport? Then how about a go-kart capable of outrunning the local police. Not just any police mind you, but seven German pursuit squad cars no less. A german teenager this week managed to avoid capture and evade seven patrol cars in hot pursuit a 5-km (3-mile) chase through the winding streets of Moenchengladbach, Germany. Apparently the police couldn’t keep up and the go-kart was able to take corners faster!?! Guess what all the joy riders will be wanting for Christmas this year in Europe?
And speaking of Europe, if you’re a World Of Warcraft fan and hit any technical issues this weekend you’re out of luck if you live anywhere in Europe where English is not spoken as a first language. Apparently the WOW European Support Centre has hit some ‘water issues’ and has had to bounce all the support back to the US, and they have asked anyone looking for technical support to ‘please use English’ when communicating with them because those poor Americans can’t handle any other language.
Still, Europe doesn’t have the market cornered for weirdness this weekend. The Canadians are getting in on the act by proposing the construction of a Commercial Space Port in - of all places - Nova Scotia; Cape Breton to be specific. I’ve been to Nova Scotia, I’ve got relatives living there and it’s possibly one of the most twee places I’ve ever visited. It’s sort of like Brigadoon, only worse… and now someone wants to build a space port there? Go figure.
But nothing beats the Yanks when it comes to outright insanity, when things get beyond weird into just plain mad. I can’t think of a better example this weekend than the case of Police lieutenant Bruce Ferguson in Lansing, Michigan, who has been conducting training and stockpiling weapons to deal with a potential zombie threat the the town. And what is the weapon-du-jour for such an eventuality? Yup, you guessed it… chainsaws!
Like everything, the Weirdness cyclone continues to move around the planet and the world wide weirdness continues. Next time you wonder just how the hell such weirdness happened, remember… look up! You’re probably at the eye of the storm.
If It Has Tires Or Testicles…
October 21, 2007 (6 Responses)
OH HOW MANY times have I heard a sentance starting with those immortal words “The Trouble With Men Is That...”, but this time I received a little gem in my inbox from MaryMac which goes some way towards explaining the anti-male feeling out there.
After all - not everyone can be as lucky as us men! 
Men are just happier people, but as SusiQ constantly tries to remind me, what else can you expect from such simple creatures? Still, the reasons we men are happy are many…
Our last name gets to stay put. The garage is all ours. So is the study. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. We can never be pregnant. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. We can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics usually tell us the truth. There is no such thing as ‘too much’.
The world is our urinal (damn I love that expression). We never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky. We don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. We do the same work but get more pay. Wrinkles add to our character.
People never stare at our chest when we’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle our feet. We have one mood all the time. We can read maps and figure out GPS locations to the nearest three metres (we just can’t fold the maps up properly afterwards!)
Our phone conversations can be over in 30 seconds flat. We know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase. We can open all our own jars (well, sometimes). We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
And it gets better… Read more
C Is For… Cosmo!
October 20, 2007 (6 Responses)
PLEASE WELCOME our latest addition to the insanity that vaguely resembles a life here at Howl @ The Moon! His name is… Cosmo.
Thanks for all the suggestions by the way, we did take them into consideration. By the time we got to the breeder yesterday the black and tan chap was already gone, so it was down to a choice between two little black bundles of fun, and this little guy won out because of his personality more than anything else. I was all for calling him “Chewbaca” or “Chewie” if he had been the black and tan puppy, but that wasn’t to be.
The bottom line on this pup is that basically he’s mad!
Fearless too. Very inquisitive, very friendly and has no issues being handled so all in all a good package for a pup. He’s also got the most amazing blue eyes. Last night was weird because we brought him back to the house and introduced him to Amber, our 10 year old cocker spaniel, who promptly ignored him. And continued to ignore him for the rest of the night; she is still mourning the loss of her sister, Bonnie.
We’re hoping the two of them will bond fast, but it’s probably going to take some time. If anyone has some suggestions or recommendations based on experience then please do let me know. We can do with all the advice we can get at this stage to make sure the two of them bond as quickly as possible.
For now though I’ve thrown up a few photos of Cosmo’s first night if anyone is interested over at the Gallery, so go on, treat yourself to a few harmless puppy photos! I slapped them up so that our friends and family could browse in and see how he’s doing. He’s been checked over by the Vet this morning and given the all clear, so the adventure begins anew from here…
C Is For….
October 18, 2007 (6 Responses)
REGULAR READERS of this insane website will know that SusiQ and I have just lost one of our dogs recently, to cancer we suspect. Bonnie was absolutely amazing and full spirited and is sorely missed, but as difficult as it is to move on, we need to because she leaves behind her sister, Amber, who is going to fade away unless we get her some company. Fast. Amber and Bonnie were together for 10 years so it just wouldn’t be fair to expect her to go on without a playmate.
With that in mind we have decided to get another puppy, another cocker spaniel puppy actually because the last 10 years with our two has been so amazing that we’re totally hooked on the breed. Amber is a golden cocker spaniel (as was Bonnie) so we didn’t want to go that route again. Actually we couldn’t because every pup we look at just reminds us of Bonnie.
The pups we are considering right now are in this photo. It’s down to either the black and tan chap on the left or the all black chap on the right and we will hopefully get to see them sometime tomorrow.
Which one would you pick?
And then of course we need a name, and as we started with A and B (for Amber and Bonnie) now it’s the turn of C, so we need a good name for the little fella beginning with C.
Any ideas?
Toxic iPhones - A Threat To Your Sex Life?
October 16, 2007 (6 Responses)
GREENPEACE HAS CONDUCTED a series of tests on the Apple iPhone and found it coming up short in the environmental department. Specifically, Greenpeace says its own tests of the iPhone uncovered hazardous substances which had already been eliminated by other mobile phone manufacturers.
So What?
Well, Greenpeace found the iPhone contained toxic brominated compounds and hazardous PVC plastics, but noted the device appeared to comply with safety regulations, which prohibit the use of lead, cadmium, mercury and chromium. One of the authors of the report, Greenpeace Research Laboratories senior scientist Dr David Santillo, said: “Two of the phthalate plasticisers found at high levels in the headphone cable are classified in Europe as ‘toxic to reproduction, category 2’ because of their long-recognised ability to interfere with sexual development in mammals.”
While not prohibited for mobile phones, phthalates are banned from use in toys and childcare products across the European Union. US based Environmentalist lawyers are threatening to sue Apple if the iconic US company doesn’t make iPhones greener or warn buyers of the toxins in the devices. The notice sent to Apple and the California state attorney general gives the nonprofit environmental law group legal standing to sue Apple in 60 days - so now the attention is focused on Apple to see what sort of response they will make to the accusations. I seriously doubt Apple will want to cast any doubts on their brands or their environmental policies so I’d think it’s likely they will either change the manufacturing process or include a warning on the label rather than fight it in the courts.
And what makes these science types think that the iphone represents a possible threat to our sex lives? Well, rats apparently… Read more
Goodbye Bonnie
October 11, 2007 (7 Responses)
RIP Bonnie. Loved. Missed. Remembered.
