Battlestar Galactica – The Plan (Review)

THE PLAN is badly executed, cynical and not worth your time or money… Read more

Wanted: More Nudity And… Maybe A Plot?

WANTED finally hit the screens here a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been meaning to post a quick review, but I got distracted by a minor disaster  for a while. Actually, distracted is a good way of summarising my thoughts on this movie because the combination of bending bullets, slow motion fights, sexy assassins and hard rock music is actually good, so good that it distracts you from the complete lack of any credible plot. Read more

Iron Man (Film Review)

I HAD HEARD some pretty great things about this movie before going to see it, and as superhero movies go it had a lot to live up to, but the good news is that Iron Man more than delivers and, with one exception, managed to hit all the right buttons as an origins story and the birth of a new Marvel franchise on screen.

For anyone who doesn’t know this already, Iron Man is the Marvel comic book hero invented back in 1963 who usually featured as a member of the Avengers superhero team and is one of the small number of superheros (like Batman for example) who rely on technology for their powers rather than any mutation orientated origin.

SusiQ even accompanied me to the cimena to see this one in action, a rare event in itself especially for any action orientated films, and she was bowled over by the film too… except for that one thing they just didn’t get right, but let’s talk about the good stuff first. Read more

In Bruges, Or Father Ted By Any Other Name…

THERE ARE MANY words and expressions I could use to describe this film; darkly funny, twisted, unsettling, poignant in parts obvious in others, outrageous, anti-American, politically incorrect, mad… but I have to admit having seen it yesterday and had time to reflect upon it overnight I think the one overwhelming thing that strikes me is the amazing resemblence that “In Bruges” has to “Father Ted” and the lads from Craggy Island.

Before I get into that I suppose I’d better do the usual summary for anyone out there (living under a rock) who doesn’t know about this film yet. The basic plot revolves around a couple of Irish hit men who have to cool their jets “In Bruges” and wait for further instructions after a hit goes terribly wrong. That’s not exactly everything that’s going on in the film, but it’s close. The plot is quite simple and the pretext is obvious, hell the ending is even obvious, but the fun is how we get there via the two central characters/hitmen in Ray (Colin Farrell) and Ken (Brendan Gleeson). It’s easy to assume the lads were just told to turn up, drink beer and shoot from the hip with this movie because the performances are so effortless, Irish to the core and great fun (especially the seemingly endless politically incorrect situations and conversations) and inevitably (it is irish after all) the film is a darkly comedic tale of retribution and redemption.

It’s the characters of Ken and Ray that make this film worth every cent/penny/dollar. The interaction between the younger, slightly simple but enthusuastic Ray and the older, wiser and worldly Ken are just a joy to behold. Let’s face it, any film with manky hookers, coke, midgets, irish lads on the lash, political incorrectness, gun play and blood is a winning combination!

But the one thing that sticks with me after the film is how close the relationship between Ken and Ray is to the – now legendary – relationship between Father Ted and Father Dougal on Craggy Island. If you don’t know what “Father Ted” is then you really have been living under a huge rock – it’s one of the most original, irreverent and funniest comedies to have come out of Ireland in the 1990s about the trials and tribulations of two catholic priests on a remote island off the cost of Ireland. It was hugely contentious because it was taking the piss out of the clergy, but it’s success rested on the performances of two central characters – Father Ted and Father Dougal – and you should go buy whatever DVDs or download whatever episodes you can because this is legendary comedy at it’s best.

So how the hell did I make the leap from “In Bruges” to “Father Ted”?… Read more

CloverShite!

I WAS WARNED before going to see this movie, but I still went anyway. It’s in my nature to make up my own mind about these things, and so off I trotted to the cinema to see the latest moster flick from producer J.J. Abrahms, simply called “Cloverfield”… and what a pile of shite it was.

The concept itself is not too shabby – it’s your basic monster attacking New York (why is it always New York?) as told by a group of average joes and janes who are just trying to survive. The kick is that it’s all done using a shaky-cam scenario (in other words, shot like a documentary… on the run… constantly fucking with your vision as a result), as seen by one of the central characters through a hand held camcorder.

The implementation of the movie isn’t that bad I suppose. CGI effects were OK, NYC getting it’s arse kicked by a large reptillian thingy was pretty cool – although it’s all been done before. The use of non-famous actors helped the audience to invest in the characters rather than having the distraction of a Tom Cruise-a-like approach but overall I have to say the movie was, well, shite.

Such an amount of hype surrounds this movie that I suppose it was always going to be an uphill battle to live up to it, however what really pisses me off about the film is that when I got to the end of it (and it’s a very short film folks) I was left feeling a combination of disappointed and unfilfilled.

The disappointment stems from the fact that nothing is explained in the movie. The origins of the monster, the reason for it’s attack, the response of the military… hell even the outcome is not explained. The whole thing just happens and then stops, and everyone in the cinema kind of shrugged for a bit, mumbled about it being a bit pointless and then left in an orderly fashion. 

The unfulfilled feeling is one of expectation, or rather the letdown of not meeting an expectation. Yes the marketing may be very viral and very clever. And yes, if you’re sad enough to sit through the 12 minutes of credits at the end you might hear the ‘help us’ plea in an audio track. And sure, the whole false-starts and misdirection tactic on the internet leading to all the hype must have been a hell of an effort on the part of the filmmakers… but ultimately what was the fucking point? The film doesn’t deliver. At all. It just follows a few partygoers as they get picked off one by one trying to escape NYC and then ends. Period. Don’t waste your time or money on this one folks.

As I said… CloverShite!

Film Quiz: Can You Guess The Films From The Famous Last Lines?

IT’S BEEN A FEW weeks or so since I managed to drag my ass to the cinema so I decided to pull together a quick film quiz for those of you who like this sort of thing.

The format is easy actually. The list of 10 lines below are somewhat famous “last lines” from films over the years; in other words they were the very last line or lines uttered before the film ended.

Can you guess the film titles from the last lines?

Now – I know some of you out there just automatically go to Google and search for pretty much everything, but try exercising those little brain cells of yours for a change and see how many you can get without having to resort to the all seeing all knowing search engines.

To answer, simply add a comment to this post and indicate each answer by it’s corresponding last line number. I’ll let you know if you are on the right track or not. Some are pretty easy (well I think so, but then I’m a bit of a movie buff) but others might present you with at least some sort of challenge.

Good luck!

1.  ”You finally really did it. You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell!”
2. “Brothers!”
3. “I was cured all right.”
4. “You met me at a very stange time in my life.”
5. “I’ll be right here.”
6. “Roads? Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.”
7. “All right Mr. De Mille, I’m ready for my close up.”
8. “The, uh, stuff that dreams are made of.”
9. “Well, nobody’s perfect.”
10. “Cat, cat!”

Scientology Can’t Kill Hitler Either!

WHO SAYS the Germans don’t have a sense of humour? Well – probably Tom Cruise actually, considering his latest film venture has run into trouble with the German authorities, the kind of trouble that will prevent him from filming on location at various military sites around the country.

It’s all the fault of those whacky scientologists apparently, or at least that’s what the Germans would have you believe.

You see in Germany Scientology is seen as a bit of a cult. Well actually, it’s considered to be a cult masquerading as a religion in order to make money, and given that the Cruiser is one of the most public supporters of this alien-legacy-rebirth thing the Germans have decided to bail out on any support for his film.

Why you may ask?

More importantly… you might also ask what kind of film the Cruiser is working on which could evoke such a response from the Germans.

Care to guess? It’s actually kind of funny – although I’m not sure the Cruiser and his staff will be seeing the funny side of it at the moment. There’s a clue in the title of the post if you are really desperate to guess but before we get to the film, let’s deal with the reason the Germans gave for not supporting it. Read more