SO THE SON OF A BITCH FINALLY IS DEAD. Slobodan Milosevic’s (left) death from natural causes yesterday probably will offer no solace to any of his victims (right). That almost the last five years of his life have been in prison might slightly assuage his surviving victims’ sense of having justice denied, or at least I hope so. I know I wouldn’t want to spend five seconds in prison, let alone five years. However one feels about the legitimacy of the 1999 NATO bombing campaign against Serbia, there is no doubt that this man was responsible for a great deal of suffering and death, up to and including genocide. He will be missed by few.

As you might have guessed, I’m now going to bring up King George and Prince Tony. Are they clones of Milosevic? No. To me the Iraq War and its causes aren’t sufficiently analogous to the 1999 Serbian War and its causes to draw any neat and tidy conclusions about related character traits in any of these men. However, that is not to say that Bush and Blair aren’t war criminals. They’re just a different kind of war criminal when compared to Milosevic. Some of the charges against them are the same and some are different, but I suspect they’ll all be spending eternity south of heaven. Maybe when their time comes Bush and Blair will be able to convince God that their cause was noble. Unlike Milosevic’s case, I doubt God will appoint a special defense team for them. They better have their talking points down pat on that day.

Continuing on the tradition of bringing the concept of Universal Principles to our discerning readers we now turn our attention to the faithful computer system. Yep – that heap of metal and wires which we have all become addicted to in the last two decades. If there is one simple universal principle about these things that you need to know, it’s this…

When you get the point where you really understand your computer or software, it’s probably obsolete!

AH SCREW IT – JUST ENJOY YOURSELVES!! If you are expecting some form of politically correct “safe” christmas greeting from us here at Howl @ The Moon!… well don’t hold your breath If this post should offend anyone or possibly bruise some religious sensitivities…ah who am I kiddin? No one sensitive reads this blog do they?

And so – on to the advice on how to get through your Christmas break… ignore all the bullshit, get on with it and try to enjoy the festivities. To help you on your way here is some sagely advice and a few universal principles from the chief lunatic of the asylum here to keep you on the straight and narrow, when all else fails over the holidays:-

It’s your family – so they will probably forgive you, eventually. Make the best of the opportunity to settle some old scores and say all those things you have been building up throughout the year!

Avoid eye contact when sober – it will only lead to cringe worthy conversations of meaningless content and triviality… wait until the alcohol has been flowing for a while before getting caught up in a ‘deep exchange’.

Eat like a pig; drink like a fish; fart like you always wanted to in public… let’s face it folks, this opportunity only comes around once a year.

Remember – a doggie is not just for Christmas, it’s a great position all year around.

Your in-laws are there to amuse you – make the best of it!

If you see some stranger in your bedroom carrying a sack of stuff in the middle of the night – shoot first, ask questions later; better safe than sorry.

From all of the lunatics here – to all of you lunatics out there… have a great Christmas folks and let’s look forward to planning the revolution again in the new year!!

“Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window“

– Apple Computer Co-Founder Steve Wozniak

Once again, I have come across a truism in the IT industry which just needs to be ‘shared’ with the rest of the world. Software development is an art form, a black art some would say, but no matter which type of software project you are talking about, or which type of rapid development methodology or waterfall development approach is selected, there are some universal principles which can be applied to the task. These principles will help you understand just why the software is so buggy, so late and so damn expensive
If you have ever wondered how a company like Microsoft can release software which blatantly just isn’t ready yet to the public, and then gets caught up in the endless cycle of fix-release-fix, then these principles will explain all.

The 10 Steps of Software Development

Is any of this sounding familiar yet?

I created a new category today – Universal Principles – because sometimes I come across truisms and scenarios that are just universally accurate, no matter what the situation. Such principles tend to teach you the ‘reality’ of things, instead of the mumbo-jumbo you get from classroom sessions, theories and workshops. Take this image on the left here for example – you ever see a project manager with boxing gloves and a killer suit like this? No? Well that’s because they Don’t Exist!… the reality is most project managers are hard bitten, world weary and growing older by the day types who just do what it takes to “survive” a project.
When it comes to Project Management, forget PRINCE2, forget PMBoK, because none of the courses, degrees or certifications come close to the universally accepted 6 Stages of a Project, which I present to you here today. Learn them by heart, because they may just save your life one day…

The 6 Stages of a Project

I absolutely promise you that any given project you can think of will fall into these categories, no matter how perfectly planned it was, or who the client was, or where it was conducted. This is a universal principle when it comes to the “reality” of projects. Learn it – it may save your life one day, especially when the project gets to stage 4 and beyond