The Duct Tape Discipline Methodology

PICTURE THIS, a passenger goes mental on a flight and the air crew have to do something before it gets out of control. The answer? Why Duct Tape of course…

Maria Esther Castillo of Oswego, N.Y., was due in court today, charged with resisting arrest and interfering with the operations of a flight crew aboard United Airlines Flight 645, from Puerto Rico to Chicago. It seems she went a bit ‘off her rocker’; slapping air crew on the ass, grabbing at other passengers and even managing to somehow fall on a blind guy in his seat.

Faced with an out-of-control passenger the clever air crew resorted to some trusty duct tape because ankle cuffs apparently kept slipping off Castillo, so the flight crew and two passengers were forced to use duct tape to keep her in her seat. Cool eh? Can you just imagine the scene as the feds boarded the plane to take custody of the offending passenger once it finally landed?

Still – it’s hardly surprising that air rage is on the increase. Violence in general is on the up all across the world, and it’s starting at a very early age. Earlier than even I expected. Recently published statistics in the UK show that More than 1,500 children aged four and under were suspended from schools in the past year. Want to guess what the chief offence was?

Yup. You guessed it.  580 five-year-olds, 300 four-year-olds and 120 three-year-olds were given fixed-term exclusions for attacking another pupils. Suspensions happen every year, but this is the first year that the government has given a breakdown of the reasons for suspensions among various ages of primary school children and that’s why the results are so shocking. If children are behaving like this at that age, what chance do they stand of making it through adolescence to adulthood in one piece?

It’s pretty insane when you think about it, but I guess the trusty duct tape could come in handy for the kids as well right? Hmm… I can think of a few handy uses to keep ‘em quite and confine them to their seats. That would certainly restore a bit of order. Throw in a few custom made objects of torture, maybe the odd paedophile or a religious wingnut or two and you’ve got yourself a perfect christian brother atmosphere of learning through the discipline of pure terror. That’ll certainly restore some order in the classrooms. Hell it worked for me so why not everyone else?

Actually – thinking back now I’m glad we didn’t have any access to duct tape back then. It was hairy enough when we got our hands on the chemistry sets and labs, I can’t imagine the chaos that could have ensued if we’d managed to get creative with duct tape as well. Hmmmmm. Messy.

So – perhaps we should start kids off on the right track. Get that duct tape discipline up and running before their first birthday and you won’t have any issues with them in later life. Strap ‘em up on the walls when they give you any grief

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