Stabbed Twice But Continues With Five Knuckle Shuffle Until Police Arrive!

IF WE ARE TO BELIEVE the statistics, most men think about sex every single day (well 54% anyway), which is not quite as bad as the urban legend (ie. that men think about sex every 7 seconds) but it’s still quite a frequency no matter which way you slice it. We’re also quite active on the masturbation front as well apparently; over 90% of men masturbate regularly.

These statistics pale into insignificance however when compared to the story I’m about to impart to you, because even those numbers can’t explain the behaviour of a certain Aussie male.

Down in Brisbane, Australia a woman was just up in court for stabbing a male friend of hers twice because he was masturbating “too much” and  everywhere all over the house. She was worried about the impact of this behaviour on her daughter and after repeatedly warning the friend about his wayward pleasuring she just flipped out upon seeing him ‘spanking the monkey’ in the bathroom (while she was trying to bathe her daughter), grabbed a kitchen knife and proceeded to stab him twice in the shoulder.

Now at this point you’d be expecting the lad to drop everything - so to speak - and take care of the odd stab wound or two, but you would be wrong.

Having been stabbed twice the ‘victim’ stopped his five knuckle shuffle for just long enough to put a pair of shorts on, flee outside to the womans garage and then recommence his pleasuring right up until the time the cops arrived to see what the hell was going on. They eventually dragged him off to hospital to get his wounds seen to and charged the woman with various offences.

Anyone care to guess the reason for his odd behaviour?

It seems the gobshite had taken some amphetamines before having a shower and then getting some ‘uncontrollable’ urges to pleasure himself. He was high as a kite on the stuff and not even a few stab wounds could distract him from the task at hand (or rather in his hand!). I’m guessing you could call this a kind of addictive behaviour - either for the drugs or the pleasuring. Still, given the amount of help out there for addictive behaviour I’m sure he can find some assistance for his “little problem”.

I mean, if this Sweedish lad can receive health benefits because of his “addiction to heavy metal music” I’m sure our Aussie knuckle shuffler can get some assistance for his little problem too. Hell he could even check out the latest invention from India - a vibrating condom - assuming they eventually decide whether it’s a sex toy or a contraceptive aid; mind you he may have to check out the size first since the lads in India seem to have a problem filling an average condom.

Back to the case down in Brisbane; the Judge sentanced the woman to 9 months in prison for “unlawful wounding” and “wilful damage”, which he then paroled her from immediately - so no time served due to the extreme provocation she faced before ‘flipping out’ and stabbing the victim. 

So now I’m left with one question….

Why the hell didn’t she cut his dick off with the knife instead of just stabbing him in the shoulder?