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The Answer To Life, The Universe And Everything

January 26, 2008 (19 Responses)

Don't PanicI AM THE ANSWER, or rather I will be tomorrow. You see tomorrow I become the Answer To Life, The Universe And Everything… and I’m not quite sure what to expect going forward.

If you know what I’m talking about then you’re about as old as me too, and you remember the iconic pop-culture reference as well as I do. If not… well then you’re probably too young to know what I’m talking about and I can’t be arsed explaining it to you, so go search for the reference on the ‘Net and it will all make sense for you.

There was a time I thought I wouldn’t make it this far. I used to think I’d never make it past thirty. Hell, now that I think of it, I’m only five years off the age my father was when he died of a massive heart attack… so that’s something to look forward to I suppose!

I think the symptoms that were supposed to kick in a few years ago when I hit the so-called mid-life crisis point were offset by my Year of Debauchery, so now – as The Answer rapidly approaches – they are returning with a vengeance. I’m starting to take stock and look backwards at where I was and how I got here. I’m also starting to become more and more concerned about what happens next… which is an odd and new experience, for me anyway.

In my head I’m still fifteen and in my heart time has no dominion. I still marvel at the way a plane stays in the air. I still love cartoons and cool animation with a jealousy approching rage when I think of the talent the folks that create such wonders have. I have never been able to shake my absolute love of cinema with the whole popcorn and coke thing and I’m still blown away by something as simple as the sight of a full moon on a clear night. I suppose I still get excited by the smallest of things. Most of the time I just get on with stuff, and dream my way through the horrible realities we all face and continue to hope for a lotto win to ease the burden of having to work to live – just like you I suppose.

It’s actually weird to think I’ve been working for more years now than not; so basically over half my life has been in pursuit of Wonga. Cashola. Paydirt and all it entails. Still there are some things that make me smile when I look back. Those friends I made [for life] actually turned out to be just that, hell I even married one of ‘em. Those principles I made such a big deal about when I was young and dumb actually did matter and make a difference; they still do. The life I have now is not even close to the one I’d imagined when I was young; it’s way better. And as for a career… I’m constantly amazed anyone wants to pay me for my opinion, but they do anyway. One of these days someone will take a good look behind the wizard wall and realise there really is nothing more there than a big kid playing at living an adult’s life.

And yet there is a feeling creeping in from the peiphery now that perhaps things are happening faster than before, that maybe I’ve less time ahead than I had behind me and that somehow I should grow up and really take stock of things… but the child inside is still firmly in control and my imagination constantly outpaces my good sense, so I guess for now I’ll keep that particular genie in his box and just continue to bounce along and see what happens next.

I suppose the main thing is to remember the central advice of the Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy… DON’T PANIC!

Ah what the hell… Happy Birthday To MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

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19 Responses to “The Answer To Life, The Universe And Everything”

  1. Wally on January 28th, 2008 3:10 am


    You got my Battle of the Blogs vote :)

  2. Coyote on January 28th, 2008 1:44 pm


    Thanks Wally:)

  3. Cruentos Solum on August 3rd, 2008 7:42 pm


    I don’t even know what you’re talking about. But I know something strange is happening to you too if you’re saying stuff like this.
    Ummm, say, if I say that I’m Douglas Adams, would you be surprised?
    If I go on saying that I am also Tupac Shakur, would that spark any ridicule?
    If I insist by adding that I am Jesus Christ, The last Prophet Mohammad who is mostly a ‘misunderstood story about an alcoholic who stopped drinking and decided he’d face his thoughts and jot them down on paper, till somebody got the papers and decided it’s from God, then on to saying that the papers never existed and it was all jotted down from an illiterate prophet who didn’t have sex, didn’t drink alcohol, and was “pious”, and that kind of bullshit’, would you say I’m nuts?
    If I say that I’m also, by coincidence, a female, who is also, God, would you shoot me?
    If I actually start mumbling privately that I am the one who made the universe ‘perfect’, then realised how stupid a thing to do, that perfect isn’t a thing as such, and that specifying an absolute definition of perfect is impossible plus hope, and that hope is an illusion, and that illusions spark chaos?
    If I told you that I am a white pool of light with little grey stretch marks like a zebra, something so amazing that once you are in, you are simply amazed and in completely total awe and cannot even say anything until of course the last few times where the thoughts had a mind of their own, would you disbelieve me?
    If I say that I am actually older than 2 million years old and counting, and if you consider two million years any sort of ‘cycle’, that I had probably been through it an infinite number of times, minus the time it started, which cannot be possibly traced back to anywhere since everything is broken and shattered images that no longer count as memories of some sort of past that no one in their right mind would even want to shuffle through, would you say that I’m God?
    If I said that I am also the universe at the same time, even though I am inside it, that I am every single star in this system, including your very own body, which is nothing than a star, would you say astrologists aren’t that wrong?
    If I go on telling you that astrology is an illusion because the universe isn’t laid out that way, that everything is just an illusion: images, feelings, and thought, would you criticize my philosophy?
    If I told you that I am a black hole, and that I am alone and nothing like me can exist, would you say that I’m right when I say that I’m probably just nuts and should omit all of the above and have a bud?
    Well, the buds don’t help, unless you smoke some weed buds with them, but the knowledge stated above is as close to the ultimate answer, which is basically now just a random search of some question to be answered that hasn’t been answered yet and since this is impossible, knowing that everything has been answered and nothing new can be created, then would you have a bud, and smoke a blunt too? Or would you go to google and start doing foolish things with your time?
    Enjoy…:) Life, is like a grapefruit… And some people have half a one for breakfast.
    And, at any rate, you live. Until you don’t. But then again, you will almost surely and without doubt or hesitation, live again, and consider whatever it is you have been through in the meantime just boffo, good one, shouldn’t have believed it, if I could.
    Listen, the drums aren’t really doing anything, it’s all in your head. Computers, connected, in a network, with information flowing everywhere.
    That information can sometimes be a problem thus the buds and the buds. Remember the story of the apple and heaven? The apple tree, happens to be the tree of knowledge. Don’t eat from that tree. Bad boy!
    Ummm, what can I say. I give up hope of trying to save mankind because it’s impossible to explain in words how things are. Just live. Carpe diem. If it comes, it comes. Trust God, or the universe, or that bitch they call Karma, whatever it is, you have no choice. Really. Until you think you do, then if I was you, then I’d close what I think is my eyes, start mumbling anything to cover up the three levels of thought inside my head, have a couple of buds and a couple of joints to disconnect my soul from this virtual reality that seems to clog up the space that there isn’t, and then dive. Hopefully, it won’t hurt too much. But then hope is a bitch no one could ever get laid. Yet. Because there is always hope…
    Know what I’m saying?:)

  4. Coyote on August 3rd, 2008 8:04 pm


    Now that’s what I call a comment :)

    I’ve never thought of Hope before in the female context, but I see where you’re coming from!

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