Getting My Mesocorticolimbic Buzz On…

I LOVE GAMES. There I said it. I’ve loved gaming (the computer kind) since I was capable of understanding what the concept was. I started with a BBC Acorn, progressed to a ZX Spectrum and eventually after years of loading tapes, writing pointless programs that printed out ‘Hello’ a few times I managed to purchase myself my very first PC, then the endless opportunity for faster, slicker and better upgrades arrived and took hold and then of course the Internet arrived and, well… I’ve never looked back since.

I’ve never really questioned why I love games so much, however I’ve always wondered why none of my female friends ever got into the act. I know there are female gamers and clans out there, but they are far outnumbered by the males and always have been. We just seem to get more out of games, but until now I never knew why.

It’s all about territory apparently, and the impact gaining territory within a game has on a males brain; specifically the mesocorticolimbic centre. This is the part of the brain linked to reward and addiction and it goes bananas in males when we achieve objectives, gain territory or otherwise make important stuff happen within a game context according to a recent study conducted at Stanford university. Read more

The Male Versus Female ATM Experience

Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles.

Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts.

After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE Procedures have been developed.

Please follow the Appropriate steps for your gender.

Male Procedure

1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.

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Keep Independent Bouncing In Porn, Save The Joggers!

OR, TO PUT it another way, an average female jogging for one mile will cause her breasts to bounce for approximately 135m. [Settle down people, this is science at work!]

Now, this is only a problem if she is not wearing a sports bra whilst jogging, because each of her breasts will move independently of her body by an average of 9cm for every step taken. Given that the average breast weighs between 200 and 300 grams [see, science can be fun too!], this movement puts great stress on the breast’s fragile support structure – the outer skin and connective tissues known as Cooper’s ligaments.

At least that’s the conclusion of a report produced into ‘saggy breasts’ by a team from Porstmouth University in the UK. The research seems to indicate that any female joggers out there looking to get themselves fitter are actually speeding up the saggy breast syndrome in the process – unless they kit themselves out with a proper sports bra to support their dangly bits.

And let’s be honest, the sport’s bra may also stop a few accidents happening when the unsuspecting motorist passes by and gets ‘dazzled’ by all that independent movement.

It’s kind of ironic in a way really. I’ve often passed those jogger types on the road early morning or late at night and wondered what the hell is driving them on to do such a thing, and the conclusion I came to was that a fair amount of them probably are interested in getting or keeping fit, but a chunky percentage are also focused on looking good and indeed more attractive to the opposite sex (or whatever sex lights your lightbulb!).

I’m fully in support of this initiative; I say we leave all the independant bouncing to porn movies and try some accident prevention on the roads by getting joggers to strap up and sway less. And for all you fitness types out there here is a little encouragement to help you make the right decision, because if you don’t don those sporty restraints you too may end up looking like this… Read more