Irelande Douze Pointe – Eurovision Gets A Proper Hand Up It’s Arse At Last!

I HOPED, I REALLY DID… and tonight it actually happened. Last week I heard about the 6 Irish Eurovision song contest entries and the one that caught my attention was the duck turkey from Dublin with the most outrageous idea yet. I’ve always avoided watching the Eurovision because it’s so campy and crap, but this year when I heard that a hand puppet was being entered into the contest with a song called “Irelande Douze Point” – as a kind of protest vote – I just had to tune in tonight to see what happened in the qualifiers.

And would you believe it… the idiots left it up to the voting public to decide who goes through. So of course the voting public decided to push for the biggest fuck-you act possible; they voted in a turkey for the Eurovision. I’m not talking about a bad song, I’m talking about an actual hand-puppet, fowl mouthed, Dublin based ex-builder Turkey with a hand stuffed up it’s arse!

It was absolutely pure class to see the reaction of the judges in the room after the hand puppet performed what I can only call an abomination of a song, surrounded by some seriously dodgy dancers and what appeared to be some kind of drag act/opera cross. This has literally just happened folks, so the video of this act is probably not yet available on the ‘net, but as soon as it is I will link to it from here.

You have to see this to believe it. Really. Words cannot possibly convey how truely atrocious and outlandish this is… and I just love the fact that the Irish public have voted this forward to the Eurovision competition. How the hell will the other contestants react?

G’wan you good thing!

Update: Here is the link to the video of this insane entry into the Eurovision 2008. Enjoy!

Finally, A Eurovision Turkey I Can Watch!

I MIGHT ACTUALLY WATCH IT this time around, especially if Dustin is on stage!

I refer of course to the ever-present Dustin the Dublin turkey, a famous muppet puppet if ever there was one in Ireland. This turkey has pedigree. He ran for president of the country for a while before being ousted. I think he even got into politics along the way. Rumour has it he has turned down a top job at the Football Association of Ireland (FAI) in order to concentrate on his singing career and more specifically Eurovision 2008.

And why should anyone care? Well you see Dustin is not just a turkey, he’s a hand puppet. That’s right, this stuffed, insane and manky turkey with a hand up his arse is getting almost as much press coverage as Clinton and Obama here in Ireland, it’s even making some international publications and I love it! Really. I mean Ireland has it’s problems these days, but seriously… where else in the world could you get a turkey with this much talent?

The mad turkey – if he makes it to the final stage – will be singing his song entry entitled “Irelande Douze Pointe”. No doubt some sanity will interfere with the plan, but the possibility of having a hand puppet representing Ireland and delivering a truely aweful song in the Eurovision would actually make me want to watch the damn thing, possibly even sober. Can you just imagine the ensuing carnage from the other competitors that would follow, especially if he scored some points in the process? Mmmnnn… fun indeed.

Ah hell, given the state of the political parties in this country I’d even give the damn bird my vote if he decided to run against the Fianna Failers and their bitches the Greens.

G’wan ya mad thing!