World Wide Weirdness Cyclone On The Move This Weekend

SOMETIMES THE SHEER volume of weirdness on our spinning rock is just so loud that it cannot be ignored. While reading my usual news sources today a bunch of crazy ass stories stood out and screamed “WEIRD” at me. It never ceases to amaze me how profoundly whacky this planet of ours is, due entirely to the homo-sapiens squatting on it. I like to think of it as a moving cyclone of weirdness that just roams the planet, infecting otherwise normal people with the most ridiculous side-effects.

For example, we all know that almost anything is available for a price, given the right circumstances. How do you fancy the idea of owning Pol Pot’s Merc, because you can for a mere £35K? The former Khmer Rouge leader’s 1973 stretch Merc has gone on sale on the web and can be yours for a song. What exactly do you say to you neighbours when they ask about your new ‘classic’ car?

Not content with owning a former dictators transport? Then how about a go-kart capable of outrunning the local police. Not just any police mind you, but seven German pursuit squad cars no less. A german teenager this week managed to avoid capture and evade seven patrol cars in hot pursuit a 5-km (3-mile) chase through the winding streets of Moenchengladbach, Germany. Apparently the police couldn’t keep up and the go-kart was able to take corners faster!?! Guess what all the joy riders will be wanting for Christmas this year in Europe?

And speaking of Europe, if you’re a World Of Warcraft fan and hit any technical issues this weekend you’re out of luck if you live anywhere in Europe where English is not spoken as a first language. Apparently the WOW European Support Centre has hit some ‘water issues’ and has had to bounce all the support back to the US, and they have asked anyone looking for technical support to ‘please use English’ when communicating with them because those poor Americans can’t handle any other language.

Still, Europe doesn’t have the market cornered for weirdness this weekend. The Canadians are getting in on the act by proposing the construction of a Commercial Space Port in – of all places – Nova Scotia; Cape Breton to be specific. I’ve been to Nova Scotia, I’ve got relatives living there and it’s possibly one of the most twee places I’ve ever visited. It’s sort of like Brigadoon, only worse… and now someone wants to build a space port there? Go figure.

But nothing beats the Yanks when it comes to outright insanity, when things get beyond weird into just plain mad. I can’t think of a better example this weekend than the case of Police lieutenant Bruce Ferguson in Lansing, Michigan, who has been conducting training and stockpiling weapons to deal with a potential zombie threat the the town. And what is the weapon-du-jour for such an eventuality? Yup, you guessed it… chainsaws!

Like everything, the Weirdness cyclone continues to move around the planet and the world wide weirdness continues. Next time you wonder just how the hell such weirdness happened, remember… look up! You’re probably at the eye of the storm.