If It Has Tires Or Testicles…
October 21, 2007 (11 Responses)
OH HOW MANY times have I heard a sentance starting with those immortal words “The Trouble With Men Is That...”, but this time I received a little gem in my inbox from MaryMac which goes some way towards explaining the anti-male feeling out there.
After all – not everyone can be as lucky as us men! 
Men are just happier people, but as SusiQ constantly tries to remind me,  what else can you expect from such simple creatures? Still, the reasons we men are happy are many…
Our last name gets to stay put. The garage is all ours. So is the study. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack.   We can never be pregnant.  We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.  We can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics usually tell us the truth. There is no such thing as ‘too much’.
The world is our urinal (damn I love that expression). We never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.  We don’t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. We do the same work but get more pay. Wrinkles add to our character.  Â
People never stare at our chest when we’re talking to them. New shoes don’t cut, blister, or mangle our feet. We have one mood all the time. We can read maps and figure out GPS locations to the nearest three metres (we just can’t fold the maps up properly afterwards!)
Our phone conversations can be over in 30 seconds flat.  We know stuff about tanks. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.  We can open all our own jars (well, sometimes).  We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
And it gets better…
Our underwear is cheap. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.  We almost never have strap problems in public.  We are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on our face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.  We only have to shave our face and neck.
We can play with toys all our life. We can get by with one wallet and one pair of shoes - one color for all seasons.  We can wear shorts no matter how our legs look.  We can ‘do’ our nails with a pocket knife.  We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache. We can even do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes, flat.
Still, amazing really that for such a happy bunch it’s mostly us men who cause all the trouble in the world!
Then again, maybe not 
You fail to mention any of the internal psychological traits; a kind of code of honor that one must learn in order to remain respectable. All the problems that males have aren’t any of the external perks that you mentioned, but rather the binding social structure that prevents us, for better or for worse, from behaving like the apes that we sometimes want to.
I would imagine that females experience just the opposite of this. External influence has always seemed to weigh most heavily on females’ actions. Of this perception, however, I am not certain because I am not female. It’s just an observation.
conversely, as we say in these here parts
if it has wheels or tits, its going to give you trouble…
There’s an advert for removing unwanted body hair forever on this page. Interesting juxtaposition.
Ha ha it’s all good mate although I’m thinking about the body hair thing myself. Maybe I’m one of them metrosexual yokes but I look like a gorilla and I’m sure if I shaved it all off I could send the clippings to a developing country and they could use it for stuffing mattresses or something.
hahaha quite hilarious its like take care a
volkswagen rabbit .
well usually it’s the one with testicles that give me trouble… my car is my baby.
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I’m sure if I shaved it all off I could send the clippings to a developing country and they could use it for stuffing mattresses or something.
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