Stormtroopers Don’t Have To Die Virgins Anymore!
April 21, 2007 (2 Responses)
THERE’S FINALLY SOME HOPE for all you stormtrooper geeks out there; you know who you are so don’t deny it! My favourite dont-give-a-shit country has come (no pun intended) up with a great new service, just for you.
A Dutch escort agency called Society Service has just launched an offering designed for virgins; and in particular they are getting a lot of interest from IT geeks. Well I suppose it was obvious really; Virgin + IT Geek = Stormtrooper. Damn – another use for algebra that I didn’t expect!
Apparently every booking lasts three hours minimum. Longer is possible upon request (and I assume with the associated dosh) but you can’t get any shorter sessions. The escorts in question use the three hours to take a bath together, do a massage and explore each others bodies. “When the date is over, you will have had a fantastic experience, and you will be able to pleasure a woman” - according to the blurb.
No mention of whether or not the ladies will dress up for you in the Princess Leia gear, but I’m sure some accommodation can be reached for the appropriate fees. It looks a little pricey from their website, but damn they have some interesting options to consider!!!
So – there is hope for you 30+ year old virgins after all. What the hell are you waiting on? Go book a flight and get yourself sorted; then maybe you can put those stormtrooper helmuts away, stop wasting your time buying and seeling collectibles on ebay and actually go outside and get to meet some real women, if you’re lucky enough!
Once piece of advice for you though… I wouldn’t bring the helmut with you 
I wish to Christ someone had taught my first lover how to pleasure a woman. He was the most selfish, insensitive, unfeeling arsehole it’s possible to imagine. I was so naive in those days! It took me a while to realise that all sex wasn’t this awful, and I gave him the flick!
No, he wasn’t a geek. They didn’t exist back then in the Stone Age!
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